Commenting Policy

1. This is a blog that focuses on the experience of being gay, lesbian, bi or transgender and Mormon, in all the variations of what that means to different people.  We do not assume that a “good” Mormon cannot be gay, any more than we assume that a “good” gay cannot be Mormon. We do believe that good science and good religion go together; that theology minus real-life experience equals bad theology; and that spirit plus element equals fullness of joy.  We are respectful of all the different paths that people walk in order to find happiness — in singleness or through marriage (both same-sex and opposite-sex), as a member of the LDS faith or of a different faith or of no faith at all. We ask that commenters refrain from judging others, keeping in mind that with what measure ye mete, it may some day be meted unto you.

2. We encourage open dialogue.  We like disagreement across the full spectrum of ideas, because disagreement provides us an opportunity to understand ourselves better.  We ask only that our conversations remain respectful.  We like to talk about ideas, not personalities.  We prefer sharing experiences over making generalizations.  We think it’s better to ask questions than to make assumptions.

3. If we feel a commenter has crossed a line by being disrespectful, engaging in personal attacks, or engaging in other forms of bullying behavior, we may delete or withhold those comments.  If there’s a reasonable doubt as to the intention of a comment, we may give a commenter a chance to revise a comment that comes across as disrespectful and then publish it.  Repeat offenders who consistently detract from the goals of promoting understanding and respectful dialogue may be blocked.

In general, individual permabloggers set the standards for what comments will be allowed for their own posts.

5 comments for “Commenting Policy

  1. Martin
    July 5, 2013 at 12:06 pm

    We gay dads need to get to the bottom of this – that the Church has now decided not only to shove US away, but even our own children if they choose to love us?! Wow. If this is truly the case, then my church has now become an enemy to me. Because they have completely rejected the notion of “unconditional love” and have become anti-Christian. And because they have kidnapped my children. And have told us that they must love THEM first. I’m sorry to have to say this, but, having been in a radical Evangelical church in Los Angeles in the summer of 1980, I know exactly what this is leading to.

    Furthermore, I certainly understand the concept of “scapegoat” having been raised Jewish and have had experienced subtle anti-Semitic comments during my adolescence. Well, here we are, so obviously the new scapegoat – and all that’s wrong with the world. It’s one thing to want to put a “yellow star” on me, even to boycott doing “business at my shop” – but it’s a whole ‘nother thing if you then punish a child of mine for loving me.

    Shame on the Mormon church in Utah county for all their extremism! Those zealots are now pushing me to do everything I can do to put a floodlight into their darkness, and even to get them to see CLEARLY what now appears to be an out-and-out threatening practice. After 25 years of membership, this may wind up being the straw that just broke THIS camel’s back. Frankly, if this practice is not an isolated one, I just hit the wall.

  2. Matt
    January 31, 2016 at 5:26 am

    I have to be honest, after being baptized in Sep and investigating for a year (I’m straight and married, not that that really matters so much), I had big issues with the church’s stance on LGBT – I know that this is the true church of Jesus Christ and I believe in everything except this. Then when I heard about the new stance basically ostracizing same-sex attracted parents is just ridiculous, offensive and makes me feel ashamed to call this my church – I feel I need to say “I’m LDS but I don’t agree with these things” whenever I tell people which just feels weird.
    The one thing I loved about this church is about its acceptance of others and focus on love which this new stance seems to contravene.
    I know people always say – look in the bible, the family proclamation, do you believe in the prophet, etc and I know and believe all this but there’s no “coming around” to a different way of thinking.
    I guess my issue is where do I fit into the church if I don’t agree in something that God stated in the bible?

    I know I have it easy compared to anyone that suffers from this directly but this is the first forum I’ve found where I could voice my feelings without getting shot down.

    I’m not going to leave the church but it does leave me with a little conunderum.

    Anyway, if anyone has any thoughts on this, it’d be great to discuss it more.



    • Daniel Parkinson
      February 2, 2016 at 6:52 pm

      Matt, the church needs people like you who really get the idea of ‘acceptance of others’. You will be a great influence in your ward. If you would like to connect with other allies then I suggest you consider engaging in Mormons Building Bridges FB group or the Affirmation Living Waters group. Mormons Building Bridges has a broad range of participants including some who are in the church and others who have left. The Affirmation Living Waters group is specifically for people who believe in the LDS church and includes LGBT people, their families and allies. Mormons Building Bridges is an open group and is easy to find. You can be added to Affirmation Living Waters by contacting one of the admins. I can give you or anybody specifics if they write me at

  3. Raina Jones
    September 13, 2016 at 10:54 pm

    I would like to be able to access Dr. Parkinson’s article “”The LGTB Mormon Crisis”. How can I get a hold of it. I have been working with some legislators on the issue of teen suicide in Utah and one has requested to read this article.
    Any help?

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