A Mother’s Love

By Jake and Meg Abhau (Also posted at their blog http://theabhaus.blogspot.ca/)

On this Mother’s Day, Randall Thacker of Affirmation asked my beautiful wife to write her perspective on mothering a gay child.  She was humbled, yet honored to do this, knowing that we both have less than two months experience on this journey.  I hadn’t read this (http://www.affirmation.org/) until after it had been posted on Affirmation and was so touched that I had to share it on our blog, too.

“I have been thinking a lot about the upcoming Mother’s Day and what it really means. I have been uncomfortable with praise, in the past for the amazing son that we raised. Not because he is not amazing, but because I can’t take much credit. He came to me this way. So, as appreciative as I am that there is a day to honor the wonderful mothers out there and the amazing work we all do, I would like to digress and talk about what an honor it is to be a mother.

Jon is a miracle. I was told I could never have children and I only had one, but what a blessing! From the very start he was so peaceful. He rarely cried. He seemed to just take it all in. He was simply an angel. I was such a young mom at 21. I made so many mistakes. One in particular that I still regret is not buying him a doll. He wanted a doll so badly, but society told me boys don’t get dolls. So, I bought him as many stuffed animals that I could! He now has over 220 stuffed animals and his tender 13 year old heart loves each and every one. I mention this because I wanted to say I’m not the perfect mom. Does that even exist? I’m just a mom that loves her son and I do the best I can.

So, when my handsome, bright, talented 13-year-old son came to me and told me he was gay, what would you expect me to do? Is there any choice but to accept him fully and love him unconditionally? To me there is not. I didn’t even consider another choice. I am a mother. I held him in my arms just seconds after he was born. I kissed his scrapes and wiped away his tears. And, I held him in my arms when he told me he was gay. It is the greatest honor and pleasure to raise him. He is kind and loving and sees the world in a way that I envy at times. He simply loves and accepts. I believe that his being gay gives him this balance; this peace. I cannot imagine looking into his beautiful eyes and telling him my love carries conditions with it. He is perfect just the way he is. He is my son and I love him.”